It is okay to feel hurt

crying.jpg

crying

Last week I shared with you that I have been deeply impacted by the book The Beautiful Wife.  It has truly been one of those books that when I see it just sitting on my end table, it brings a smile to my face.  The freedom that I have received from that book pales in comparison to many other things.

One true revelation came forth after a morning of discord between Daddy Head and I.  Looking back on that day, I can’t even remember what the problem was about.  I just know something happened and I was angry.

I have learned in our 5 1/2 years of marriage that if I get to a place of extreme anger, it is due to the fact that I have been keeping hurts buried deep inside.  So it came as no surprise to me when Daddy Head asked me, “Why do you always go to the place of anger?  Why can’t you just do what the Bible says and not let the sun go down on your anger?”

And that morning, I told him the same thing I always do, “I don’t know…”

Later that afternoon, I was reading chapter four, Cultivating Mystique when Sandy Ralya shared how she always felt that she was only good enough until something better came along.  She told a story from her childhood and how her best friend suddenly didn’t want to be friends anymore since the “cool crowd” took her into their group.  This left her crushed and hurt.

It was at this moment when I had my epiphany.  I suddenly was young and remembered many instances where I was taught that when an adult corrected you or hurt you, even if I felt they were wrong, it was never my place to tell them that.  It was up to me to pray and let God show them.

That always left me feeling very: ANGRY!

See the same pattern?

I can honestly say that at that moment, I understood why I always had that anger pattern.  When my husband or any other authority in my life did something to hurt me, instead of telling them like an adult woman should, I would just bottle it up inside and then eventually explode, mostly on my husband because he was the safe person to let it go on.

I felt like the Lord was showing me that I could break this cycle and pattern by enacting His Word in the situation and not letting the sun go down on my anger.  I was free to tell those that hurt me how I was feeling and by doing that, I could keep from going to the anger.

I have had many opportunities over these past few weeks as we have dealt with sickness in our home to do this with Daddy Head and it has been truly freeing.  I haven’t went through the anger cycle like I used to and when I feel myself getting ready to go there, I stop and analyze what I have been keeping hidden.  I then calmly bring it to the light so that I can keep from being hurt and hurting others.

Things to ponder:

  • Do you have a similar issue from your growing up years that causes you to have a repeat cycle on anger?
  • Have you asked the Lord to show you the hidden things of your heart so that He can deal with them and make you into a more whole person?
  • How do you best deal during sticky situations with your spouse or other authorities and are you open to letting Jesus show you how to best handle them?

End of a Season, Beginning a New {Mar 9}

Bear's Last Therapy Session

Bear's Last Therapy Session

Today’s picture post is going to be a little different than usual.  Call me a hormonal, pregnant mom if you want, but I just can’t help but celebrate where we are.

Back in 2009, which Bear was diagnosed with Infantile Spasms, the doctors gave us a very grim outlook.  We had to face developmental delays, mental retardation and even death square in the face.  The beautiful thing that came out of it was a child who was willing to fight against all odds and prove them wrong.

Bear did everything late from the point of being 5 1/2 months old on.  When her seizures came back, we were devastated.  All the hard work she put up for 2 months had to be redone.  And with it came even more scary proclamation.

When her neurologist found the cause of her seizures, 14 q 12 microduplication, we learned very little more of what to expect.  At the time, Bear was one of 9 to have this diagnosis.  They have since found a few more.  Because of the extra strand on her DNA, she might never talk, she would crawl and walk late and may never be able to do some of the things that normal kids could do.

But she kept fighting.  And she kept proving them wrong.

Bear crawled at 16 months.  She walked at 22 months.  And now, she says all kinds of word and tries so hard to say many more.  She is quick to learn new signs and is able to communicate her needs.  And she is smart!

No, I’m not just saying that.  Her therapists will tell you the same thing.

What do I attribute this success too?

First of all, Jesus Christ.  He is her ultimate healer and he is the one who pulled our whole family through every bit of the trials we went through with Bear and even Lion.

Second, early intervention therapy in our home.  Her therapists never believed for one moment that Bear would not succeed in life.  They encouraged us.  They pushed her.

Lastly, Bear is a beast!  I love my daughter and I wouldn’t trade her for the world.  She has taught me so much on how to live life to the full and how to laugh in the face of adversity.

So, today ends a season but begins a new one.  No longer is my house as much as a revolving door as before.  Yes, we still have therapy for Lion, but it isn’t the same.  Just one little one in EI is enough for me in my super pregnant state.

And as for Bear, may she keep shocking the world and doing great things!  I love you baby!

Disclaimer: Please ignore any typos.  I was literally crying like a baby when I typed this post, still am.  This is real, raw emotion.  What can I say, I am a pregnant, hormonal mommy who is so proud of her daughter!

What I Do: Top 10 Tips for Prepping a Nursery #SeventhGeneration

With a new little one due to arrive sometime at the beginning of April, I know and understand that it is never to early to start thinking about how to prepare for the new baby.  With both Bear and Lion, I began thinking from the time I received that first positive pregnancy test about names, bedrooms and all the essentials that I would need in order to give them a good start in life.

So, I was thinking, why not chronicle my thoughts now, so that when time draws near for Baby #3 to arrive, I will not be running around trying to remember all the things that need to be done!  And what better place to write it all down than here, for any other expecting mom reader to get some great ideas herself?

All right then!  Without further adieu, here is my top 10 tips for prepping a nursery.

1.  Have a clear path to the dresser - In our house, we do a lot of room sharing.  This means that the toy room is also the bedroom which also houses the dresser!  And with children as young as I have, there are toys everywhere!  So, keep a clear path so you don’t trip.

2.  Make your choice early on either cloth or disposable diapers - This one is a hard one for me.  I made the switch to cloth with Bear when she was almost two, and ended up going back because the system didn’t suit me.  I am currently trying to choose what we will do with Baby #3, and at the moment we are thinking maybe a mix.  Either way, the sooner you make the choice, the more money it will save you in the long run.

3.  Every diaper is not the same – This goes along with the last tip.  Find the diaper that works for your child.  What worked for Bear didn’t work for Lion.  And, if I may make suggestion, check out Seventh Generations Free & Clear diapers.  They do not use the same harmful chemicals as other diapers do and are free of chlorine, latex, fragrances and petroleum-based lotions, which is better for baby and our environment.

4.  If there is a rash, check the diaper wipes – My sister in law was dealing with some raw bottom on my niece when she was first born.  She realized very quickly that some wipes can cause some weird reactions.  She had to change brands in order to find one that would keep her baby’s bottom fresh.  Here is another place to check out Seventh Generation and their Free & Clear wipes, which are soft like cloth wipes!  Without those harsh chemicals, they are sure to keep that bottom from being red!

5.  Hand sanitizer is your friend – As we head into cold and flu season, don’t be afraid to give people a squirt when they head towards your baby.  Or you could have a hand washing station set up in your home.  That or just tell them no touching!

6.  Have a good place to keep diaper changing supplies – This is vital.  With both kiddos, I had specific places I kept diapers in different rooms.  That way, no matter where I was, I had a place to change baby when needed.  They make really cute baskets for this too!

7.  Make sure the crib and other gear is safe – Be sure to check out the web for safety recalls.  This being said, don’t use big brother or sister’s hand me down crib if it has a drop side.  These have been outlawed!

8.  When it comes to baby bottom cream, buy a brand you can trust – Not that the generic brands are bad, but I can tell you from personal experience that is better just to pay more.  I mean, if the cream doesn’t stay put, it isn’t protecting the bottom!

9.  Have your own organization system – And then work your system!  If you have certain drawers for onesies, keep them there.  And if your system doesn’t work, find one that does!  It will save you a headache later.

10.  What is a tip you would add?  Please share it with me in the comments!  I need all the help I can get with this pregnancy brain of mine!

Dislaimer: I wrote this blog post while participating in the SocialMoms and Seventh Generation blogging program, for a gift card worth $50. For more information on how you can participate, click here.

Family Friday: The Big Announcement

ideas on announcing pregnancy

Here it is.  The moment you have all been waiting for since Wordless Wednesday this week.

What was the big picture announcement of, you may ask.  Well, here it is!

ideas on announcing pregnancy

Can you see it????

Yep! Baby #3 is on the way, due to arrive on Easter Sunday, April 8th!

We are so excited for this next season in our lives!  God has been so good to us and Bear and Lion are excited to have a little brother or sister to play with.

Now, to come up with a nickname for him/her…

Suggestions?

Wordless Wednesday: Paper Towel Clean Up {Linky}

paper towel mess

Welcome to another week of Wordless Wednesday here at MHA.  So happy to have you come and link up your favorite Wordless Wednesday pictures from the week.

This week, Lion wanted to share with you his latest fun adventure.

paper towel mess

How cute is that?  He had so much fun ripping those out of the bag.

Now it’s your turn!  Link up your fav Wordless Wednesday posts here.